The Dark Crystal

Amazon.com

Jim Henson's fantasy epic The Dark Crystal doesn't take place a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, but like Star Wars it takes the audience to a place that exists only in the imagination and, for an hour and a half, on the screen. Recalling the worlds of J.R.R. Tolkien, Henson tells the story of a race of grotesque birdlike lizards called the Skeksis, gnomish dragons who rule their fantastic planet with an iron claw. A prophecy tells of a Gelfling (a small elfin being) who will topple their empire, so in their reign of terror they have exterminated the race, or so they think. The orphan Jen, raised in solitude by a race of peace-loving wizards called the Mystics, embarks on a quest to find the missing shard of the Dark Crystal (which gives the Skeksis their power) and restore the balance of the universe. Henson and codirector Frank Oz have pushed puppetry into a new direction: traditional puppets, marionettes, giant bodysuits, and mechanical constructions are mixed seamlessly in a fantasy world of towering castles, simple huts, dank caves, a giant clockwork observatory, and a magnificent landscape that seem to have leaped off the pages of a storybook. Muppet fans will recognize many of the voice actors--a few characters sound awfully close to familiar comic creations--but otherwise it's a completely alien world made familiar by a mythic quest that resonates through stories over the ages. --Sean Axmaker

Customer Reviews:

Like watching a movie with your head wrapped in dirty cellophane.......2007-09-08

The Dark Crystal is one of the movies I first saw when I was a kid. The movie has lost little of its charm over the years. I bought this version because I couldn't find the 25th anniversary version locally and didn't want to wait on shipping. The box said it had been 'mastered in HD' so I figured that meant it would look good on my 1080p HDTV. Well, I was wrong.

The quality of the picture in this version is terrible. It looks like they used a beat up rental VHS tape to make this DVD. Random pinpoint flashes of white marr just about every scene. There are also blemishes in the form of dirt specks and floating black hairs. For a short time near the end there are even faded thin bars that slide across the screen. The credits are even slightly blurry. I had to keep reminding myself that at least this was the first time I've seen the movie in widescreen format.

I had previously bought season 1 of the Muppet Show and it looks WONDERFUL on the same TV. So bright and vibrant, with a clear picture. Never in my wildest dreams would I have figured that a TV show from the 70s would look better on an HDTV than a movie that was 'mastered in HD'.

Don't waste your $10 like I did... Get the 25th anniversary verison instead. I'm not sure if the picture looks any better, but it sure can't look much worse.

Good.......2007-08-25

I liked this movie; good family movie that the whole family can watch. If you like "muppets",you'll like this one.

Oldies.......2007-06-27

This movie I bought because I had never seen it. If you don't mind squaking bird sounds and nails on a chalkboard- than go for it. I had a headache half way through. This movie has more noise than dialogue.

The Dark Crystal.......2007-06-15

There are 10 Skekses left in the world. This cruel, violent species's emporer is dying. There are 10 Mystics left in the world. The wisest Mysitc is dying. When the Mystic leader (the dying one) was younger he rescued a Gelfling from a Skekses raid (there were more of each species back then) and dubbed him Jem. The Mystics taught him everything - except the prophecy (IF YOU TRY TO STOP A PROPHECY IN A MOVIE YOU WILL FAIL, PERIOD.) The prophecy said that if a Gelfling does not repair the Crystal, located in the Crystal Castle, before the 3 suns lined up the world will be plunged into a time of evil forever. Skekses send bug-monsters to catch and kill Jem. Jem goes to the ugly witch Olgra to get the shard which came off. As he turns to leave, the bug-monster things attack Olgra's dome-house. Then they carry off Olgra, but she turns out not to be a Gelfling, let alone Jem. Jem is running for dear life. Then this puffball dog thing growls at him. A girl Gelfling comes out and says something to the puffball, who shuts up. It turns out that the Pod People had saved HER from the SAME raid. Love love lovie dovie. Jem goes to the Pod People with Kira, but then the bugs attack again, and carry off the Pod People, who also turn out not to be Gelflings. Then the bugs actually almost get them, but Kira grabs Jem and flies down a handy cliff. Jem says that he doen't have wings, but Kira replies that, of course not, he's a BOY! Then a Skekse gets banished, and says NOT to repair the Crystal, because they didn't need to, no, they could just live out here forever. Jem thwacks him, and Skekse gets cut.

Although the characters are Muppets, there are no real jokes. Plenty of adventure. So good, my critical-of-every-detail dad watched it twice a day for who knows how long. Also, in 2008, a sequel called the Power of the Dark Crystal will come out, but with (ugh) ANAMATRONIC PUPPETS. I will watch both, personally.

Mom loves this movie!.......2007-05-18

This is a pretty good movie, it was better to me when I was little though :) Since technology has come so far along now. I couldn't get over the price though, it was $6.99 so I couldn't resist adding it to my collection.

An all time favorite!

Average customer rating:

A morality tale that could have been better
Good movie - surprise ending
Fair warning: do yourself a favor and buy something else
just keep watching!
A Transparent Attempt to Create a Psychological 'Thriller'

The Last Time
Starring: Amber Valletta , Lisa Marie Dupree , Caroline McKinley , Louis Dupuy , and Aaron Sauer
Director: Michael Caleo
Manufacturer: Sony Pictures
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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ASIN: B000PISZ7W
Release Date: 2007-07-10

Product Description

Ted (Keaton), top salesman at the Bindview sales company, is forced to show new hire and midwest transplant, Jamie (Fraser), the ropes. Jamie's enthusiasm isn't squashed by Ted's cynical and angry personality, but after he fails to make sale after sale, Jamie quickly becomes disillusioned with the big city. When Jamie introduces Ted to his beautiful fiancé, Belisa (Valletta), the hard-bitten salesman falls hard, and when they begin an illicit affair, the real Ted emerges; losing the bitter edge that made him a great salesman. Jamie continues to fail at the sales game and Ted's guilt over the affair prompts him to feed Jamie his own sales leads to try and keep him afloat. Even as Bindview begins to lose profitability, Ted becomes increasingly focused on Belisa and his sales start to suffer. It is only when the company falls victim to a hostile takeover, that the ingenious con is revealed.

Customer Reviews:

A morality tale that could have been better .......2007-09-12

I watched this because of Michael Keaton [having liked some of his past work], and the plot seemed interesting enough. The story centers around the world of high-pressure sales [for an undefined product], and Michael Keaton plays Ted Riker, a successful, driven salesman with an acerbic tongue. Ted finds himself playing reluctant mentor to new hire Jamie[ Brendan Fraser] and finds himself drawn to Jamie's alluring fiancee Belisa [Amber Valetta seen previously in movies like What Lies Beneath]. Ted finds himself embroiled in an illicit affair with Belisa, and Jamie in the meantime seems to be losing it, as he can't seem to make the sales quota or keep his fiancee happy, driving him off the edge.

Though the plot has an interesting premise, it fails to deliver on several crucial points - the acting though not bad, is not very good either. Though Keaton is a good actor, his character is not too credible here - he veers between a foul-mouthed person and a sweet talker between scenes, and most of us aren't wired that way. Amber Valetta's Belisa is pretty but her character just lacks substance. As for Brendan Fraser's Jamie, he seems wimpy and helpless most of the time. In short, these characters do little to elicit our sympathy and its hard to care for any of them, except maybe Keaton's character.

The high-pressure world of sales is not too convincingly drawn - the salesmen are portrayed as two extremes, either they are really ruthless with no moral conscience[Ted], or they are too 'nice' and hence trod upon[Jamie]. The least credible part of this movie was the ending, which has a twist that just seems hard to swallow. I won't give too much away, but let's just say that the victim and bad guy roles here are not whom you might expect [as revealed towards the end, though most discerning viewers will have figured that out for themselves midway through the movie].

All in all, though it lacks genuine substance, this makes an entertaining rental flick.

Good movie - surprise ending.......2007-08-22

I love movies where the plot centers around work and money. This movie was very entertaining. Michael Keaton was great, as usual - top of his game. The plot was full of twists and turns. The ending was completely different from what I expected---a complete surprise.

Fair warning: do yourself a favor and buy something else.......2007-08-09

Well, no. The disk is too small to make a good frisbee and the story (which is supposed to be a psychological thriller) is neither psychological nor is it a thriller.

Here is the story so you don't have to waste your time watching it. Keaton plays a salesman who is set up to mentor a new man from the midwest. The new man is engaged, so naturally Keaton's character, who is a really nasty fellow, starts having sex with his fiancee. What he does not know is, the fiancee is a prostitute hired by a man who wants to take over the company. Somehow Keaton's affair brings down the entire sales office and helps bring down the value of the company (since other prostitutes have been hired to sabotage other sales offices across the country.) This creates an opportunity for the fellow who engineered the whole thing to buy the company for a cut rate price. Keaton's character loses his job, finds out he's been played for a sap by a hooker, and then goes back to his old job at Northwestern University as a college prof. The story ends with the people who set all this up laughing at him. That is supposed to be a thrilling surprise ending, except that it makes no sense. Furthermore, the characters are all so unlikeable there is no reason any of us should care one way or the other - and we don't.

I gave this one star because the system would not let me give it zero stars or twenty raspberries.

Amazon's got lots of great movies for sale. Do yourself a favor and buy something else.

just keep watching!.......2007-07-21

Mr keaton is brilliant, and brandon fraiser really surprised me on this one. You don't know what to think because the way things are happening but in the end thats the real shocker.

oh, while watching this movie i have realize that some of the shoots were taken in front of the building I work in ( One Shell Square). and they were suppose to be in New York?

A Transparent Attempt to Create a Psychological 'Thriller'.......2007-07-16

Michael Caleo's background in writing for television shows in this flimsy little flick that despite a solid cast comes across as tired retelling of the bad guy to good guy to bad guy sequences. There are some good one-liners in the film, with a script that is so peppered with the 'f' word that it is crippled by it, but the story has been done before and much better and this time around the 'twist' is obvious from the film's opening lines.

Goofus-doofus Midwesterner Jaime (Brendan Fraser) has moved form Ohio to New York with his gorgeous girlfriend Belisa (Amber Valletta) to join a sales company whose chief salesman is foul mouthed, ill tempered Ted (Michael Keaton) who appears to loathe everyone and the world. Jaime is assigned to Ted, but Jaime's level of intelligence borders on idiocy and his fate with the company seems doomed...until Jaime introduces Belisa to Ted...and the romantic fireworks start. Ted falls for Belisa and begins to change his outlook, confiding his inner spirit as a professor of English literature to Belisa. A transformation takes place and as Jaime spirals downward while Ted and Belisa's affair ignites, role reversal happens as a not at all surprising plot unfolds.

Michael Keaton is a fine actor and makes the best of this mouthy role, but Brendan Fraser's talents are completely wasted - a hint from the start that all is not as it appears... It is a mediocre movie and even if the audience doesn't turn off the soundtrack to rid the script of the trashy language, it can become insulting to the intellect. But again, Keaton helps it float. Grady Harp, July 07

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Two-Disc Ultimate Edition)

Average customer rating:

THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (1974)
The greatest horror flick of all time
SHOCKING(ly bad? awww...)
Grandpa, quit sucking on my finger......
Better than I expected.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Two-Disc Ultimate Edition)
Starring: Marilyn Burns , Allen Danziger , Paul A. Partain , William Vail , and Teri McMinn
Director: Tobe Hooper
Manufacturer: Dark Sky Films
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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ASIN: B000FS9FE4
Release Date: 2006-09-26

Product Description

ONE OF THE SCARIEST MOVIES OF ALL TIME Even More Terrifying 30 Years Later!
- Entertainment Weekly

The Ultimate Two-Disc Edition Of The Original Classic Now Remastered in High-Definition And Loaded With All-New Extras.

It has been called grisly, sick, and perverse as well as raw, unshakeable, and the movie that redefined horror. It was attacked by churches, banned by governments, and acclaimed by only the bravest of critics. It stunned audiences worldwide and set a new standard in movie terror forever. In 1974, writer-producer-director Tobe Hooper unleashed this dark, visionary tale about a group of five young friends who face a nightmare of torment at the hands of a depraved Texas clan. Today it remains unequaled as a landmark of outlaw filmmaking and unparalleled in its impact as perhaps the most frightening motion picture ever made.

Dark Sky Films presents this masterpiece like you ve never seen or heard it before, newly transferred in High Definition from the 16mm camera originals, remixed in 5.1 and 2.0 Stereo Surround, and featuring never-before-seen Bonus Materials produced exclusively for this definitive collection.

System Requirements:
Running Time: 84 minutes

Format: DVD MOVIE

Amazon.com essential video

This sensational, extremely influential, 1974 low-budget horror movie directed by Tobe Hooper (Poltergeist, Lifeforce, Salem's Lot), may be notorious for its title, but it's also a damn fine piece of moviemaking. And it's blood-curdling scary, too. Loosely based on the true crimes of Ed Gein (also a partial inspiration for Psycho), the original Jeffrey Dahmer, Texas Chainsaw Massacre follows a group of teenagers who pick up a hitchhiker and wind up in a backwoods horror chamber where they're held captive, tortured, chopped up, and impaled on meat hooks by a demented cannibalistic family, including a character known as Leatherface who maniacally wields one helluva chainsaw. The movie's powerful sense of dread is heightened by its grainy, semi-documentary style--but it also has a wicked sense of humor (and not that camp, self-referential variety that became so tiresome in subsequent horror films of the '70s, '80s, and '90s). OK, in case you couldn't tell, it's "not for everyone." But as a landmark in the development of the horror/slasher genre, it ranks with Psycho, Halloween, and A Nightmare on Elm Street. --Jim Emerson

Customer Reviews:

THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (1974).......2007-08-26

THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, clearly what is to be the slasher film that started them all, is definitely one the scariest movies in all horror/serial killer slasher films ever to be made, and went on to set the grounds for future slasher films that were eventually to come (i.e. HALLOWEEN, FRIDAY THE 13TH, A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, etc.)

Bickering siblings, SALLY HARDESTY (played by Marilyn Burns) and wheelchair-bound FRANKLIN HARDESTY (played by Paul A. Partain), visit their grandfather's in a cemetery in rural Texas with their companions JERRY (played byAllen Danziger), KIRK (played by William Vail) and PAM (played by Teri McMinn) after hearing that the graveyard has been vandalized and corpses have been constructed into figures. While driving to the Hardesty's now deserted former house, they encounter a heat-struck, possibly crazy hitchhiker. However, after he torments them and threatens Franklin with violence, they kick him out of the van.

Running low on gas, the group pulls over at a gas station/barbaque, where the owner says that they won't have any fuel until the next morning. Upon learning where the teens are going, the owner advises them against going there. The group finally arrives at the Hardesty farm. Following Franklin's directions to a childhood swimming hole, Kirk and Pam set off to find it while the others stay at the old house. Finding the swimming hole dried up, Kirk and Pam hear the sound of a gas-powered generator which attracts them to a farmhouse nearby. While there they encounter a junkyard of vehicles and finally discover the house. Kirk investigates and is eventually attacked by LEATHERFACE (played by Gunnar Hansen) with a sledgehammer while Pam is outside. Pam then enters searching for Kirk, but also falls prey to Leatherface, and is hung onto a meathook.

As night approaches, Sally, Franklin and Jerry become restless waiting, so Jerry searches for Pam and Kirk. He also becomes one of Leatherface's victims. As night falls, Leatherface searches for more prey while Sally and Franklin search for the house. Their cries attract Leatherface, who bursts upon them and instantly attacks Franklin with a chainsaw, repeatedly driving it through his body. Sally flees through a forest, cutting herself graphically on branches before finding the house. She enters it, but leaves upon discovering that it belongs to Leatherface. With the maniac relentlessly pursuing her, Sally runs all the way back to the gas station. On arrival, Leatherface apparently disappears while she appeals to the gas station owner for help. Instead, he attacks her with a broom, throws a burlap sack over her and bundles her into his truck. This character, known only as the "Old Man," is now revealed to be Leatherface's father. He takes her straight back to the farmhouse, reaching the driveway at the same time as the hitchhiker, who is also apparently part of the family.

Sally is taken into the house and tied to a chair. When they remove the sack, she and the hitchhiker recognise each other, and he immediately taunts her. He and Leatherface then bring down the withered figure of "GRANDPA" (played by John Dugan) from the upstairs bedroom, slicing open Sally's finger so he can suck the blood from it, where she then passes out.

Dawn approaches, Sally flees the house, after a gruesome cannabalistic dinner with the three crazed men, and attempts to escape onto the highway. The knife-wielding hitchhiker and the chainsaw-wielding Leatherface give chase. Just as the hitchhiker reaches her and begins slashing at Sally, an eighteen wheeler truck suddenly appears and accidentally runs him down. The truck driver stops and gets out, only to be confronted by Sally being chased at close quarters by Leatherface. As the woman and the driver climb into the truck, the killer attacks the vehicle with the saw. Escaping through the other side of the cab, the driver throws a large wrench at Leatherface which catches him in the head, knocking him down and causing him to cut his right leg. The truck driver flees down the road. As Leatherface rises to his feet and limps after Sally despite his injury, a pickup truck arrives on the scene. Sally finds time to enter the back of the truck, leaving the film to finish with a shot of Leatherface in the middle of the road, wielding the saw above his head in frustration.

I've seen plenty of horrifying slasher films in my day, but none of them will ever be as horrifying and morbid as THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE. This 2-disc Special Edition will not only give this outstanding film, but a bonus disc with "KILLER" special features to go along with it.

The greatest horror flick of all time.......2007-08-23

I know everyone says thay the exorcist is the greatest horror flick of all time, but this one is better. While maybe overall the exorcist was a better movie, nothing truly defines horror like this movie. The simple ease with which leatherface kills is simple and without emotion. Like a butcher cutting fat. The slow progress to constant horrific experiences is brutal. The near twenty minutes of a woman screaming and constantly brutalized is too much to take. I don't know if I can say I like this movie, or that I can recomend it. But I can say it is the best at being horror.

SHOCKING(ly bad? awww...).......2007-08-21

so i put two stars because if you are talking to horror fans about horror, you need to have seen this, it somehow "redefined horror", so i guess it has a sort of cachet as far as that goes. but honestly i can say the only reason you should watch this movie is so you can say you have seen it. there were parts i found intriguing, the hitchhiker scene, the opening with the "corpse-art" (genuinely horrifying), and a few things besides. but the acting is TERRIBLE!!!
it's one saving grace i felt was Marilyn Burns as Sally Hardesty - - the last part, as the truck drives away, and the way she is crazily laughing and crying, covered in blood, i thought was gorgeous and flawlessly done on her part. but the rest seemed to me to be middle-school-drama-class level acting, and the way the whole thing deteriorates toward the end leaves me to imagine tobe hooper and all the crew stoned out of their gourds and doing their damndest to finish filming with little regard to the movie they started out with.
i hate to say it, because the remake isn't that great, but the remake is better...
so to sum up: one star because this film did spawn a mess of sequels and pretty much the slasher genre, so i guess that makes it culturally important, and another star for marilyn burns.
but honestly, if you are going to buy it, buy the cheapest copy they have on here.
ps. no matter what they do, you can't make a worse movie than TCM2. i'd smear dog poo on my tv and watch it before i watched that piece of trash again. so maybe it gets a half a star for not being TCM2. but half a star isn't an option so i guess i'll stick with two.

Grandpa, quit sucking on my finger.............2007-08-13

Surprised I'm reviewing this? I'm not one to watch horror flicks. This was pure horror, not porror. This movie is indeed very suspenseful. It is about a twisted cannibalistic family that has nothing better to do than make barbeques out of human remains. The story begins when Sally, her wheelchair-bound brother (Franklin), and friends, Curt, Pam and Jerry set out to a cemetery to see if their grandpa's grave is still intact. It seems someone is graverobbing and taking corpses out of their cripts in this small Texas town. Grandpa's grave was okay, so the five young people went to see Sally and Franklin's dad's abandon house. You can almost guess the horror about to happen. We are introduced to an array of characters. There is a hitchiker that put new meaning to the word weird. Leatherface and his chainsaw getting the bodies ready for barbecuing. The cook slapping his sons into shape. I was never bored! This movie kept me in suspense and I was on the edge of my seat the whole time. Was I scared? NO! There were parts that even made me laugh---When demented family brought grandpa down to let him have a "little fun". This film definitely had me entertained. I actually enjoyed this film! I don't call myself a horror buff, but this flick is a definite buy for any movie goer.

Better than I expected........2007-07-31

You know how some people say the original is always better than the remake? I personally find the opposite to be true. No matter what movie genre, I find that most older movies lack the intensity and rawness of a lot of movies in the 21st century. So after I saw the remake version of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (and having the life scared out of me), I decided to watch the original just to see what the big fuss was about. To my surprise, I ended up really liking it.

So what's this movie about? Basically, a group of kids are on a roadtrip when they come across a town of creepy people. Worse yet, these "creepy" people are murderers. Weapon of choice? Chainsaws.

Let's talk about the positives first. Although some may be sick of the whole "group of college trips on a roadtrip get chased by some psycho killer" storyline, I personally find it to be thrilling. You know something bad is going to happen, you just don't know when or how. I was on the edge of my seat during the entire last half of the movie. Second, as I said above, I generally find that older movies aren't all that great. I actually thought that this movie seemed more real than the remake. While the remake contained a lot of unlikeable characters (and I'm talking about the kids who were being chased by the killer), I had a lot of sympathy for the characters in the original. Some may find the chasing scene (I hope I'm not giving too much away) to be repetitive and too long but I felt like I was in the character's shoes and I truly felt fearful for her. There are quite a few scenes in this movie that had me shocked and disgusted with the knowledge that unlike a lot of other scary movies, the things that happened in this film could actually happen.

And now for the negatives. There's really only one thing that I didn't like about this movie. A good portion of the beginning of the movie had me yawning a bit. I was very close to turning off my TV and writing off this movie as being bad but thankfully I stuck around to watch the rest.

Overall, I give this movie 4 stars. If I could, I probably would have given it 4.5 stars but I don't think it's worthy of 5 stars simply because of the sort of dull first half of the film. However, I definitely recommend this movie to all.

Average customer rating:

Terrible. Nowhere near as good as the original.
THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (2003)
an admirable remake
VVVVVVVVVVeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
The standard in horror re-makes!

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Starring: Jessica Biel , Jonathan Tucker , Erica Leerhsen , Mike Vogel , and Eric Balfour
Director: Marcus Nispel
Manufacturer: New Line Home Video
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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ASIN: B00018D42W
Release Date: 2004-03-30

Amazon.com

The 2003 version of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre adheres to the pure and simple slasher movie formula: Introduce a gaggle of sexy young people, make vague gestures to distinguish them--Jessica Biel (Summer Catch) wants to get married and doesn't like pot, so she's our moral compass--then start hacking them to pieces one by one. The visual palette includes grimy crucified dolls, fly-specked pig carcasses, body parts floating in murky jars, a tobacco-chewing redneck sheriff, and many slender beams of sunlight cutting through dank, dusty interiors. The camera lovingly photographs Biel's tank-topped bosom and sculpted abs as she's running in terror from a bloated, chainsaw-wielding, human-skin-wearing maniac. This remake lacks the macabre comedy of the original; it's all about the nauseating sensation of waiting for something to jump out of the dark. Also featuring Eric Balfour (Six Feet Under) and R. Lee Ermey (Full Metal Jacket, Mail Call). --Bret Fetzer

Description

Inspired by a true story and the classic 1974 film. A group of teenagers take a detour from a road trip and what happens next is beyond anyone?s darkest fears and raw nightmares.

Customer Reviews:

Terrible. Nowhere near as good as the original........2007-09-07

Bad movie. I advise you to stay away, unless you enjoy watching Jessica Biel get tortured.

THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (2003).......2007-08-26

In 1974, THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE was claimed to be the scariest movie ever made. The film was a huge box office smash, spawning three sequels (THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2, LEATHERFACE: THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE III, & THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE NEXT GENERATION). But in 2003, director Michael Bay gave us this incredible remake: THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE.

The movie starts off with some police footage of the crime scene where the massacre took place. Then seen are random bits of evidence such as glasses and paper with writing on it. We then see a police evidence tape that has a walkthrough of the HEWITT home. We see the officer guiding through the stairwell to the basement as he points out some scratches on the wall (which is shown later on in the film). We then see five teens swimming in a river.

The film flashes back to that of August 18, 1973, five college kids, ERIN (played by the sexy Jessica Biel), KEMPER (played by Eric Balfour), PEPPER (played by Erica Leerhson), ANDY (played by Mike Vogel), and MORGAN (played by Jonathan Tucker), are on their way to a LYNRYD SKYNYRD concert in Dallas. The kids are returning from a trip to Mexico, where Kemper, unbeknownst to his girlfriend, Erin, bought marijuana. As they are driving through Travis County, Texas, they see a girl about their age walking nearly in the middle of the road. After nearly hitting her, Erin insists that they pick her up, so they do. She is in some sort of hysterical state and babbles about a "really bad man". The teens take her in their car where she says, "You're all gonna die," before shooting herself in the mouth. The five teenagers are in shock. They find an old gas station and stop there to call the police and report the suicide. The owner of the station calls the sheriff for them, and she tells them that they need to meet him at an old mill called "the old Crawford mill." They drive to the old mill, but find no sheriff. While they are looking around, they find a young boy named JEDIDIAH (played by David Dorfman) living inside the mill. He tells them that the sheriff is probably "at home getting drunk." They ask if they can drive there from the mill, but Jedidiah tells them that the road doesn't go there, and "it's a short walk." Erin and Kemper take off through the woods to find the sheriff's house, leaving the other three teenagers at the mill.

Erin and Kemper eventually come to a large gray-brick house in a field. Erin is allowed inside by the owner, an old man in a wheelchair with no legs, but Kemper is told to wait outside. Erin calls the sheriff while Kemper, fed-up with waiting, sneaks inside the house to look for her. While he is snooping around, he gets hit in the back with an axe and dragged into the basement by LEATHERFACE (whose real name is THOMAS BROWN HEWITT) (played by Andrew Bryniarski). Erin leaves without Kemper, who she assumes has already left, and heads back to the old mill. Meanwhile, the sheriff is already at the mill with the other three. He wraps up the body of the dead girl with plastic wrap and has the kids put her in the trunk of his car. Erin eventually makes it back to the mill just as the sheriff is leaving, and discovers that Kemper is not there. She and Andy go back to the house to look for him. Andy sneaks inside while Erin distracts the owner. The old man soon discovers what they are up to, and summons Leatherface, who chases them out of the house with his chainsaw. Erin gets away, but Andy's leg is severed and he is taken inside where he is hung on a meat hook in the basement. Erin arrives back at the mill in a panic where Morgan and Pepper are waiting inside the van. Erin tries starting the van, but it doesn't work. The sheriff soon shows up again, and spots marijuana inside the van. He orders the three out of the van and forces them to the ground. He makes Morgan re-enact the suicide, and then kidnaps him, leaving the girls alone at the mill with the van. Soon Leatherface shows up (wearing Kemper's face) and cuts Pepper in half with the chainsaw. Erin is chased through the woods until she arrives at a small trailer. She takes refuge inside the trailer, where a heavyset woman known as "THE TEA LADY" (played by Kathy Lamkin) and a pale thin woman reside. The skinny woman, who has apparently stolen a baby from a previous victim, gives Erin some drug-laced tea that knocks her out while the Tea Lady looks on. Erin wakes up back inside the Hewitt house. Immediately after she wakes up, she is thrown into the basement by Leatherface. She finds Andy on the hook, and in act of sympathy, kills him with a large knife. She then finds Morgan still alive and they escape from the basement with the help of Jedidiah, who distracts Leatherface long enough for them to find a cellar door that leads outside. With Leatherface chasing them, they find an abandoned house and hide inside. Leatherface finds them, however, and kills Morgan by using his chainsaw to split him in two up the middle. Erin runs out of the house and makes it to barbed wire fence. She crawls through, but Leatherface trips and cuts himself with the chainsaw. Erin continues to run.

Erin soon makes it to a large meat factory. She goes inside, grabs a meat cleaver, and hides from Leatherface in a locker. When he comes by the locker she jumps out and severs his arm with the cleaver. She then runs back outside and is picked up by a trucker. She panics when they pass a familiar sign, so the trucker stops at the gas station to get help. While the trucker goes inside, Erin hops out of the truck and peaks through the gas station window. She sees the sheriff and the skinny woman with the stolen baby. The sheriff walks outside, and Erin runs him over with his own car, and then drives away with the baby. As Erin is comforting the child, Leatherface appears in the middle of the road, brandishing his chainsaw in his other arm. He slices the drivers' side door off the car but Erin is unharmed. Leatherface just breathes heavily from the blood loss and stares as the car drives away. The final scene shows the second half of the police tape. This shows the men being attacked by Leatherface in his basement. A few fast-paced shots of him fly by the screen, then we cut to the officers' funerals. We then have a look at the only known image of Leatherface and are informed that "The scene was not properly secured by Travis County Police. Two investigating officers were fatally wounded that day. This is the only known footage we have of Thomas Hewitt, the man they call Leatherface. The case remains open."

Now, the 1974 original film was awesome, horrifying, and very disturbing. But it doesn't even compare to the 2003 remake. This 2003 remake is way scarier, even gorier, and way more disturbing than that of the original 1974 film. This was an awesome remake that deserves 100 stars, not 5.

an admirable remake.......2007-08-25

i had ordered the original and through a mix up got sent the remake instead... i figured i would watch it. i am NOT a fan of remade movies, but i was pleasantly surprised! it seemed to me to be a good, strong horror movie, and it redressed the gross wrongs put forth by the original. what won me over was when leatherface hangs one character on the meathook -- in the original, pam just keeps screaming the same screams she already is. watching the remake, i found myself saying, "damn right. now THAT'S how you get hung on a meat hook". it was drawn out, grotesque, brutal and fun... so much more enjoyable than the haphazard-ness of the original.
also to me the sheriff might be one of the better characters in a while... he reminds me of every wierd wacked-out scoutmaster i have ever encountered, only 100X more so and on speed. and with a gun. and he eats people.
there is a rich back-story here, you really get a sense of the whole thing being woven together in time and that somewhere out there in texas this really could happen. i felt the original had no grit, no reality to it. this one did. it was detailed, well shot, and the house might just be the scariest house i have ever seen. and shocking as all hell. still, it is a mostly a good horror movie, with some flaws, and it could never be considered a GREAT horror movie, but it's fine viewing and it revamps the original story very well.

VVVVVVVVVVeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!.......2007-08-07

This was a good remake of a classic sicko flick...See it if you are a horror buff!

The standard in horror re-makes!.......2007-07-19

I am partial when it comes to re-making a movie, especially if it is a re-make of an already known classic. When I first seen this movie I was very skeptical, after the first 15 minutes I was blown away.
With a few added parts that tell more of the story the originality is tuned up and it takes you on one hell of a rollercoaster ride. In my opinion this movie sets the standard on horror movie remakes. It goes more into detail of the story but they keep it original.

Average customer rating:

Lack of Snake Eyes kill this movie
Was never and still not a fan of G.I. Joe
A fun time for Joe Fans
Got to get tough Yo Joe!
Too bad America can't do nothing this creative anymore. Japan could teach this young generation something!

G.I. Joe: The Movie
Starring: Sgt. Slaughter , Stan Wojno , Corey Burton , Brad Sanders , and Ted Schwartz
Director: Don Jurwich
Manufacturer: Rhino / Wea
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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ASIN: 6305876932
Release Date: 2000-06-20

Amazon.com

Our favorite American hero has returned in this rerelease of the now cult-classic G.I. Joe movie from 1987. Once again G.I. Joe must protect the world from total obliteration. Cobra, the deadliest of foes and leader of an underground race of snake people, is proving to be a great threat to humankind. After spending many generations underground, he plans to take over the world again (with the help of his evil foes Pythona and Serpentor) by releasing deadly spores into the atmosphere. These spores can transform all life into the weakest of creatures, which means humans could potentially devolve into amoebas. However, in order to accomplish this, Cobra must acquire the Broadcast Energy Transmitter. (The BET activates the spores.) Luckily G.I. Joe is there to stop Cobra and his evil army. There are terrific fight scenes in which nobody gets hurt (like in all great A-Team episodes) and the cartoon style is true to the G.I. Joe character. All your favorite G.I. Joe characters are here, including Falcon, Bazooka, Alpine, Duke, Snowjob, and Roadblock. Starring voices also help lend a hand: Don Johnson, Burgess Meredith, and Sergeant Slaughter. Forever and always G.I. Joe will be "fighting for freedom wherever there's trouble, over land and sea and air!" --Samantha Allen Storey

Description

A 40,000-year-old race of snake people resurface, and with help of Serpentor, Desto, Baroness and Dr. Mindbender, plan to eliminate all of mankind and rebuild Cobrala. Once rulers of Earth, the Snake people were driven underground by ice-age temperatures. While in exile, they developed a plant whose spores turn ordinary men into mindless, weak animals. The key to their plan is G.I. Joe's secret project--the Broadcast Energy Emitter. Only this device generates enough heat so that the spores can mature. Humankind's very existance depends on G.I. Joe, but are they strong enough, smart enough, cunning enough to fight a warrior race with 40,000 years of experience?

Customer Reviews:

Lack of Snake Eyes kill this movie.......2007-07-27

Also unlike the Transformers movie, it doesnt play like a movie, it just has the same score from the Tv series and kinda plays like one long episode.

Was never and still not a fan of G.I. Joe.......2007-06-15

Overall, I hate G.I.Joe. I dont own the seasons. I hate anything that contains a whole lot of shooting and nobody is ever shot. And if they were shot, it was never, ever, fatally. If there's ammo flying. Animated or otherwise, I want to see people shot dead! GI Joe never gave me that. And there was no blood. With that being said. I pretty much thought this movie was decent. Because it had a little blood. It continued with Cobra fighting for world domination. And with the Joes trying to stop them.

I dont know about others, but I liked the dark setting of this one. And that opening was to die for. This movie delivers more with the action. There is fisticuffs all over this movie. The story in my opinion is a mixed bag. They do a good job in my opinion with the origin of Cobra the organization and Cobra Commander himself. The plot leading up to the end was ok at best. This is what dragged the movie down alot for me. The new characters on both sides just weren't very likable. Tell you how popular they were. Except for Falcon, none of them made an appearance in the episodes after the movie. 'Nuff said.

Well GI JOE the Movie should appeal to most fans. I thought it was alright even though I'm not a fan of GI Joe. This is the only thing of GI Joe in my collection. If you love the series then pick this up. But to those who are new to this should probably rent it. If you didn't follow the seasons its possible you won't enjoy this the same way a fan would because you don't know the characters. Still if your looking for a movie full of fistfights, you might not be disappointed with this.

A fun time for Joe Fans.......2006-11-06

This movie had its problems, but looking at it now I see a lot of fun. I remember as a kid I didn't like some of the things that happened in the movie. Now I see it as a good mix of G.I. Joe and science fiction two things I have always loved. I never thought of G.I. Joe as science fiction as a kid, but looking back I wonder how I missed all the the super science G.I. Joe had in it. The move's big flaw is that the characters from the show were not used that much in it. They focused on new characters who we didn't get enough time to really care about like we did the old favorites. Still, it is a movie all Joe fans should see. I have shown it to some who have never seen an episode of G.I. Joe and they loved it. It got them to look at the other episodes. Check it out... and... Yo Joe!

Got to get tough Yo Joe!.......2005-09-06

In the 80s cartoon graduation went something like this... He-Man, Transformers, GI Joe, and Ninja Turtles. Yes there were other shows you may have seen, even other shows you may have enjoyed more, but there is no denying that if you were a boy between 5 - 11 these were the shows you mainly remember watching.

G.I. Joe is the series for the patriotic gung-ho attitude of freedom over communism that the 80s really flaunted with stuff like Rocky 4 and the Coca-Cola vs. Pepsi "coke wars". G.I. Joe is also one of the corniest yet lovable animated shows of that time. The series was a constant hit or miss. You either had brilliant shows with plausible plots (like Cobra ruining the oil supply) or farfetched fantasy (The Egyptian gods episode).

So what was G.I. Joe the movie? Well you take the brilliance and mix it with the bizzare and you get Cobra-la. If you take it as is the movie is really action packed and fun, but unfortunately it's supposed to be an awesome American military force that fights terrorism. Instead it looks like "Alien vs Predator" meets "Starship Troopers".

The public service annoucements are the one saving grace. They are truly entertaining and more memorable than the movie.

Too bad America can't do nothing this creative anymore. Japan could teach this young generation something!.......2005-08-08

This movie change the way we look at cartoon's forever. Kids were blown away by the animation the way the drawing's were so mature looking and not cartoony. Back then U.S.A. could make good orginal cartoons, drawing them almost like it's an anime. The Joe's deal with an 40,000 year old race of snake which looks half snake half human. Shargent Slutter the wrestler had his cartoon character on this movie. The action is way cooler in this movie then the series.

Stay Alive - The Director's Cut (Widescreen Edition)

Average customer rating:

Stay awake or stay away might be closer to the truth.
Stay Away
Two Weeks After Seeing This Film I Bought an Area 51 m5550. That's Good Product-Placement!
This was a good horror flick
Why Not Just Destroy the Game

Stay Alive - The Director's Cut (Widescreen Edition)
Starring: Jon Foster , Samaire Armstrong , Frankie Muniz , Jimmi Simpson , and Wendell Pierce
Director: William Brent Bell
Manufacturer: Buena Vista Home Entertainment / Hollywood
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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ASIN: B00005JOWW
Release Date: 2006-09-19

Amazon.com

Straight from the set-'em-up and knock-'em-down school of teen-horror filmmaking, Stay Alive gives literal meaning to the parental lament, "Those games will kill you someday." Not that you'll find any parents in this gimmicky thriller set in New Orleans; they're conspicuously absent when Hutch (Jon Foster) and his hardcore gamer pals discover "Stay Alive," a mysterious next-generation computer game that has a nasty way of precipitating mayhem, horror, and death. If your character dies in the game, you're doomed to die in identically grisly fashion in real life. So, just don't play the game, right? WRONG. This being a teen horror flick with a screenplay that makes no sense whatsoever, the gamer pals (including victim #2, Hutch's boss, played with game-addicted fervor by Adam Goldberg) obsessively investigate the game and its creepy Ring-like origins in the 17th century murder spree of a woman known as "The Blood Countess." Because movies like this are best viewed on a steady diet of Pop Tarts and Ritalin, Jimmi Simpson earns top honors as the gamer pal with the creepiest behavior, and Malcolm in the Middle fans will enjoy the presence of Frankie Muniz as a gamer geek whose primary fashion statement consists of grimy T-shirts and green plastic poker-visors. While not nearly as fun or clever as the Final Destination movies, Stay Alive delivers a few good deaths while blatantly stealing most of its horror highlights from Ju-On and other Japanese horror hits. It's junk from start to finish, but its target audience of mallrats and gamers (especially those with attention deficit disorder, which helps to ignore the plot holes) won't mind a bit.--Jeff Shannon

Description

The blood runs deep in this extended director's cut of STAY ALIVE, the mind-bending thriller about a killer video game. The real world and the game world gruesomely collide when a group of friends play STAY ALIVE, a mysterious underground videogame that kills the gamer whose character dies in play. In a death-defying race against time, the survivors must solve the mystery of the game while desperately trying to stay alive. More spine-chilling gore and action, plus all-new never-before-seen material -- including a new character and subplot -- push this version way over the edge of what could be seen in theaters.

Customer Reviews:

Stay awake or stay away might be closer to the truth. .......2007-09-13

"Stay Alive" is a movie about a video game called "Stay Alive". Beware of the evil video game!!! The premise behind this movie is that once your character dies in the game, you also die in real life. Scary, huh? Well, not really. Ostensibly, "Stay Alive" comes across as being an original movie, unless one has seen other horror movies, especially recent ones like "The Ring". "Stay Alive" certainly borrowed extensively from the far superior movie known as "The Ring", and this is not a good thing because it's very difficult to a pull a movie like that off, and "Stay Alive" fails in this regard.

Unlike "Stay Alive", "The Ring" had much better actors in it, a much better story of which the viewer can actually buy into, and, even as far-fetched as it was, "The Ring" is actually capable of eliciting some horror in the audience along with making some degree of sense, at least by movie's end. Oh, "Stay Alive" is certainly far-fetched and cliche-ridden, but it's also very poorly-acted, generic, poorly executed and does not make any sense as other reviewers have already pointed out. "Stay Alive" requires too much of the viewer in his/her leap of faith with its gaping plot holes which makes for a ridiculously unrealistic movie. It's full of cheap little "jump-out-at-you" scares or scare attempts, but the movie is virtually lifeless and while it may keep you interested enough to wait until its miserable conclusion, "Stay Alive" offers very little in the way of plot, style and substance as far as its merits as a horror movie are concerned. Finally, there are NO likeable characters in this movie and no one the viewer/audience can identify with and root for so to speak. All you have in this movie are a bunch of stupid 20 somethings who would not have enough sense to know to come in out of the rain.

While "Stay Alive" may be somewhat suspenseful, it's very difficult for the viewer to take it seriously (yeah, it's kind of a joke), and I might recommend "Stay Alive" to the video game-obsessed teeny-bopper, I certainly would not recommend "Stay Alive" to any serious horror movie fan. If you've got to watch it, make sure you watch it for free.

Stay Away.......2007-08-01

The title of my review says it all -- STAY AWAY. I will also add that this movie is so boring that it took me FIVE viewings before I finished it!

Stay Alive (movie) is based on an underground interactive video game. The movie begins with Loomis Crowley, played by...who cares..., trying out an underground video game--Stay Alive--and he seems pretty impressed. He then goes upstairs and finds two people doing the nasty (one wearing a pig's head--kinda' reminded me of "Pigsey" in "Manhunt", but I digress). He then falls asleep, is awakened by (of course) noises downstairs, and upon investigating...I'm not going to tell you anymore. YOU watch the movie; BORE yourself to death.

The entire synopsis is: after the opening scene, friends show up to play the game and it becomes a race against time since the players must solve the mystery of the game while trying to "stay alive." The bad thing is: if you die in the videogame, you die in real life.

This review is based on the 100-minute, unrated, director's cut. The original only lasted 85 minutes. The only recognizable "star" was Frankie Muniz. Why he wasted his time on this is a bigger mystery to me than how to win the videogame. The movie was directed by William Brent Bell, who also helped write (along with Matthew Peterman) this real tired screenplay. If Amazon.com assigned half-star ratings, I would give this one 1-1/2 stars. It's not the worst movie I've seen, but it would be in my top 50. However, since it helped put me to sleep, who am I to say it was completely worthless?

Two Weeks After Seeing This Film I Bought an Area 51 m5550. That's Good Product-Placement!.......2007-07-09

A real niche film ... if you dig horror and are a gamer, I'm willing to wager that you'll enjoy Bell's work. But if you do not meet this criteria, I am quite certain you will struggle to reach the conclusion.

Unlike most contemporary horror, the story-line is fresh and intriguing (the few minute tugs at Verbinski's stylistic-devices do not detract from its originality ... for me). Likewise, the focus remains on the story instead of irrelevant sex-scenes (When are horror-directors going to realize that the fan-base of this genre is not entirely comprised of fourteen-year-old boys?!) (Nota bene: although the film is PG-13, it does open with one very brief, sexually explicit moment ... just wanted to warn parents that it is not family-friendly). The pace is near-perfect: plenty of tension, with few empty moments.

The casting is superb. Typically, casting teenagers with a background in television-acting renders a bad "Sci-Fi Channel movie-of-the-week" effect. Not the case with "Stay Alive." Frankie Muniz is FANTASTIC as a hard-core, ultra-dorky gamer (strangely endearing ... and I'm not a "Malcolm" fan), Jimmi Simpson is hysterical as the lascivious-yet-lovable friend (hey, everyone has to have one!), and prepare for one seriously freaky cameo from James Haven (Angelina Jolie's brother).

Historically, it is important to note that Countess Bathory really did exist. There are numerous fictional and non-fictional texts about her heinous misdeeds. Of course, you will have to suspend your disbelief when the film reveals that she moved to New Orleans (no such thing, my friend). Nonetheless, kudos to a writer who unearths a historical-figure from seventeenth-century Hungary and positions her as the villain.

The conclusion does not disappoint! The last thirty minutes will REALLY delight gamers ... the line becomes blurred between the gaming world and reality (Haven't we all literally dreamed "Final Fantasy" after ten hours of game-play?!) And, there is just enough misdirection to keep you guessing until the very end!

As a life-long gamer and horror-enthusiast, this film was an unexpected pleasure for me. No, it does not have tremendous depth: no significant social issues are explored. It is purely entertaining: and that is JUST fine! I hope Bell tackles similar projects in the future ... he will always have an audience with us "Resident Evil" playing weirdos! And, ummmm, after seeing this film , I really did by an Alienware (but that mirrored one in the film ... sadly does not exist!) ... so, pretty awesome advertisement (and, hey, it's just a smart buy ... I never know when it may save MY life!!)

Suggested readings:

Codrescu, Andrei. Blood Countess. New York: Simon & Schuster, 1995.

Bathory Al Babel, Gia. The Trouble with the Pears: An Intimate Portrait of Erzsebet Bathory. Bloomington: AuthorHouse, 2006.

This was a good horror flick.......2007-06-30

I liked this horror flick because it was a different kind of story. It was a story of some people getting together and playing the same game of a "ghost that was called back from the dead" only to realize that the ghost was looking for revenge to anyone that encounters it within the game. If you would "die" in the game, you would die in real life of the same circumstances. It was a good horror flick and did keep me interested through out the movie. I do highly recommend this movie to anyone that is a horror fan and likes a "different" story.

Why Not Just Destroy the Game.......2007-06-24

Stay Alive has an interesting premise and a good looking cast. The problem is that the execution (no real pun intended) is horrible. This was the last film made in New Orleans pre Katrina so I had some interest in seeing it. I must say that the City is quite possibly the best character in the film.

Hutch (Jon Foster) is an avid videogamer who inherits a prototype game from a recently deceased friend. After playing the game with a group of friends they begin to die in the way they were killed in the game. On a mission to find out how to stop the deaths the legend of the Blood Countess is revealed by an author who sounds amazingly like Elmer Fudd. What follows is standard slasher fare with the obigatory jerky girls of Asian horror thrown in for good measure.

The film looks terribly dark through most of the film and the sound design is not the best that I've heard on a new film. Add to this a weak storyline and too perfect characters and you get a film that it is better to stay away from.

Not recommended.

Average customer rating:

Why the hell was this ever banned
Bad
Rent It First
Classic!
Beware: Animal Cruelty

Cannibal Ferox
Starring: Giovanni Lombardo Radice , Lorraine De Selle , Danilo Mattei , Zora Kerova , and Walter Lucchini
Director: Umberto Lenzi
Manufacturer: Grindhouse Releasing
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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ASIN: B000HXDWNM
Release Date: 2006-10-31

Amazon.com

Italian exploitation legend Umberto Lenzi birthed the cannibal subgenre of Italian horror with Deep River Savages, but he turned out one of the so-called classics of the genre with this 1981 effort, a blunt, brutal story of five New Yorkers who face the wrath of angry Amazon cannibals. Three completely clueless would-be anthropologists set out to disprove the racist myth of tribal cannibalism perpetuated by colonial Europeans. Turning a blind eye to danger at every turn, they join up with a pair of drug-crazed psychos on the run from supposed cannibals (in truth, the reign of terror has been perpetrated solely by greedy Americans) and then wait patiently for the bloody vengeance of the tribal survivors. Lenzi is no stylist, and his attempts at irony are crude at best, but he delivers all he promises (or threatens): evisceration, emasculation, gouged eyeballs, and a sick twist on the initiation scene from A Man Called Horse. His generous budget allowed him to shoot on location in South America and New York (where a police detective searches for the homicidal drug dealer in a subplot) and lavish attention on his carnage, elevating it to near cult status. More than simply gory, this is a sadistic, cynical, mean-spirited film, for hardcore fans of the genre only.

Lenzi and star John Morghen (the only animated actor in the otherwise flat cast) offer commentary on an alternate track, but Lenzi is all but unintelligible through his thick accent at times. A supplemental interview with Lenzi is helpfully translated by his interviewer. --Sean Axmaker

Description

CANNIBAL FEROX DELUXE EDITION
Here it is! The original uncensored, unrated director's cut of one of the most notorious and violent films of all time. Banned in 31 countries, "Cannibal Ferox" assaults your senses as a group of Americans lost in the jungles of Amazonia experience brutal retribution at the hands of savage cannibals. Shot on location in the savage Amazon wilds of South America, CANNIBAL FEROX is one of the most violent and shocking films ever made. There are at least two dozen scenes of barbaric torture and sadistic cruelty graphically shown. This is the legendary Grindhouse Releasing deluxe edition of Umberto Lenzi's infamous classic of graphic horror.
SPECIAL FEATURES
-Original uncensored director's cut
-Spectacular new digital stereo re-mix
-Candid and shocking audio commentary by director Umberto Lenzi and star John Morghen
-Exclusive on-camera interview with Umberto Lenzi
-Original Italian, German and U.S. theatrical trailers
-Extensive gallery of stills and poster art
-Exhaustive filmographies
-Liner notes by legendary Time Square historian Bill Landis (author of THE SLEAZOID EXPRESS)
Customer Reviews:

Why the hell was this ever banned.......2007-08-12
The cover of this movie states that it was banned in 31 counties. I want to know what countries. There is pretty much no reason why this flim should of ever been banned.

I did slightly enjoy this film but it was not what I was expecting. I went into this film thinking it was going to be an awsome gore-fest, but I was wrong. Sure there were a few good scenes for all gore lovers to enjoy. Like the hooks through the boobs or the guy getting the top of his head sliced off and his brains eaten. But it is not worth sitting through a lot of boreing dilouge just to watch it. The actors in this film seemed to be slightly retarded, like if you see a dead body in a village of cannibals, why the hell would you decide to stay the night with them? Your just asking to be eaten.
Bad.......2007-07-19
This movie was just bad! Bad acting, bad special effects and bad direction. I wanted to see something diffrent, something that would shock me or gross me out and went with some of the reviews and was disappointed when I saw this junk.
Rent It First.......2007-06-02
The hype that surrounds this movie is way too high. The acting sucks and the FX are terrible. The popcorn I ate while watching this were really good though.
Classic!.......2007-05-12
Cannibal flicks always go a little further than your average Italian gore-fest and are definitely my favorites, because when I watch a horror movie I want to be rupulsed and disgusted(see definition of horror)I don't want to see little creepy kids that they put in every pop-horror movie now, that [...] doesn't scare me, this scares me. Not on the same level as "Cannibal olocaust" but pretty close. THIS IS REAL HORROR!
Beware: Animal Cruelty.......2007-05-12
I love gory movies (Zombie, Re-Animator) and this one was kind of cool until some characters started chopping off the parts of a real turtle. It was upsetting. There should be a warning for this kind of material. Just a heads up in case you're gonna buy it. (I've read that Cannibal Holocaust also has animal cruelty, but I haven't seen it.)

Average customer rating:

THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (1974)

The greatest horror flick of all time

SHOCKING(ly bad? awww...)

Grandpa, quit sucking on my finger......

Better than I expected.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Starring: Marilyn Burns , Allen Danziger , Paul A. Partain , William Vail , and Teri McMinn
Director: Tobe Hooper
Manufacturer: Geneon [Pioneer]
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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Burns, Marilyn | ( B ) | Actors & Actresses | Stores | DVD | Video
Larroquette, John | ( L ) | Actors & Actresses | Stores | DVD | Video
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ASIN: B0000C8ART
Release Date: 2003-10-14

Amazon.com essential video
This sensational, extremely influential, 1974 low-budget horror movie directed by Tobe Hooper (Poltergeist, Lifeforce, Salem's Lot), may be notorious for its title, but it's also a damn fine piece of moviemaking. And it's blood-curdling scary, too. Loosely based on the true crimes of Ed Gein (also a partial inspiration for Psycho), the original Jeffrey Dahmer, Texas Chainsaw Massacre follows a group of teenagers who pick up a hitchhiker and wind up in a backwoods horror chamber where they're held captive, tortured, chopped up, and impaled on meat hooks by a demented cannibalistic family, including a character known as Leatherface who maniacally wields one helluva chainsaw. The movie's powerful sense of dread is heightened by its grainy, semi-documentary style--but it also has a wicked sense of humor (and not that camp, self-referential variety that became so tiresome in subsequent horror films of the '70s, '80s, and '90s). OK, in case you couldn't tell, it's "not for everyone." But as a landmark in the development of the horror/slasher genre, it ranks with Psycho, Halloween, and A Nightmare on Elm Street. --Jim Emerson
Customer Reviews:

THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (1974).......2007-08-26
THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, clearly what is to be the slasher film that started them all, is definitely one the scariest movies in all horror/serial killer slasher films ever to be made, and went on to set the grounds for future slasher films that were eventually to come (i.e. HALLOWEEN, FRIDAY THE 13TH, A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, etc.)

Bickering siblings, SALLY HARDESTY (played by Marilyn Burns) and wheelchair-bound FRANKLIN HARDESTY (played by Paul A. Partain), visit their grandfather's in a cemetery in rural Texas with their companions JERRY (played byAllen Danziger), KIRK (played by William Vail) and PAM (played by Teri McMinn) after hearing that the graveyard has been vandalized and corpses have been constructed into figures. While driving to the Hardesty's now deserted former house, they encounter a heat-struck, possibly crazy hitchhiker. However, after he torments them and threatens Franklin with violence, they kick him out of the van.

Running low on gas, the group pulls over at a gas station/barbaque, where the owner says that they won't have any fuel until the next morning. Upon learning where the teens are going, the owner advises them against going there. The group finally arrives at the Hardesty farm. Following Franklin's directions to a childhood swimming hole, Kirk and Pam set off to find it while the others stay at the old house. Finding the swimming hole dried up, Kirk and Pam hear the sound of a gas-powered generator which attracts them to a farmhouse nearby. While there they encounter a junkyard of vehicles and finally discover the house. Kirk investigates and is eventually attacked by LEATHERFACE (played by Gunnar Hansen) with a sledgehammer while Pam is outside. Pam then enters searching for Kirk, but also falls prey to Leatherface, and is hung onto a meathook.

As night approaches, Sally, Franklin and Jerry become restless waiting, so Jerry searches for Pam and Kirk. He also becomes one of Leatherface's victims. As night falls, Leatherface searches for more prey while Sally and Franklin search for the house. Their cries attract Leatherface, who bursts upon them and instantly attacks Franklin with a chainsaw, repeatedly driving it through his body. Sally flees through a forest, cutting herself graphically on branches before finding the house. She enters it, but leaves upon discovering that it belongs to Leatherface. With the maniac relentlessly pursuing her, Sally runs all the way back to the gas station. On arrival, Leatherface apparently disappears while she appeals to the gas station owner for help. Instead, he attacks her with a broom, throws a burlap sack over her and bundles her into his truck. This character, known only as the "Old Man," is now revealed to be Leatherface's father. He takes her straight back to the farmhouse, reaching the driveway at the same time as the hitchhiker, who is also apparently part of the family.

Sally is taken into the house and tied to a chair. When they remove the sack, she and the hitchhiker recognise each other, and he immediately taunts her. He and Leatherface then bring down the withered figure of "GRANDPA" (played by John Dugan) from the upstairs bedroom, slicing open Sally's finger so he can suck the blood from it, where she then passes out.

Dawn approaches, Sally flees the house, after a gruesome cannabalistic dinner with the three crazed men, and attempts to escape onto the highway. The knife-wielding hitchhiker and the chainsaw-wielding Leatherface give chase. Just as the hitchhiker reaches her and begins slashing at Sally, an eighteen wheeler truck suddenly appears and accidentally runs him down. The truck driver stops and gets out, only to be confronted by Sally being chased at close quarters by Leatherface. As the woman and the driver climb into the truck, the killer attacks the vehicle with the saw. Escaping through the other side of the cab, the driver throws a large wrench at Leatherface which catches him in the head, knocking him down and causing him to cut his right leg. The truck driver flees down the road. As Leatherface rises to his feet and limps after Sally despite his injury, a pickup truck arrives on the scene. Sally finds time to enter the back of the truck, leaving the film to finish with a shot of Leatherface in the middle of the road, wielding the saw above his head in frustration.

I've seen plenty of horrifying slasher films in my day, but none of them will ever be as horrifying and morbid as THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE. This 2-disc Special Edition will not only give this outstanding film, but a bonus disc with "KILLER" special features to go along with it.
The greatest horror flick of all time.......2007-08-23
I know everyone says thay the exorcist is the greatest horror flick of all time, but this one is better. While maybe overall the exorcist was a better movie, nothing truly defines horror like this movie. The simple ease with which leatherface kills is simple and without emotion. Like a butcher cutting fat. The slow progress to constant horrific experiences is brutal. The near twenty minutes of a woman screaming and constantly brutalized is too much to take. I don't know if I can say I like this movie, or that I can recomend it. But I can say it is the best at being horror.
SHOCKING(ly bad? awww...).......2007-08-21
so i put two stars because if you are talking to horror fans about horror, you need to have seen this, it somehow "redefined horror", so i guess it has a sort of cachet as far as that goes. but honestly i can say the only reason you should watch this movie is so you can say you have seen it. there were parts i found intriguing, the hitchhiker scene, the opening with the "corpse-art" (genuinely horrifying), and a few things besides. but the acting is TERRIBLE!!!
it's one saving grace i felt was Marilyn Burns as Sally Hardesty - - the last part, as the truck drives away, and the way she is crazily laughing and crying, covered in blood, i thought was gorgeous and flawlessly done on her part. but the rest seemed to me to be middle-school-drama-class level acting, and the way the whole thing deteriorates toward the end leaves me to imagine tobe hooper and all the crew stoned out of their gourds and doing their damndest to finish filming with little regard to the movie they started out with.
i hate to say it, because the remake isn't that great, but the remake is better...
so to sum up: one star because this film did spawn a mess of sequels and pretty much the slasher genre, so i guess that makes it culturally important, and another star for marilyn burns.
but honestly, if you are going to buy it, buy the cheapest copy they have on here.
ps. no matter what they do, you can't make a worse movie than TCM2. i'd smear dog poo on my tv and watch it before i watched that piece of trash again. so maybe it gets a half a star for not being TCM2. but half a star isn't an option so i guess i'll stick with two.
Grandpa, quit sucking on my finger.............2007-08-13
Surprised I'm reviewing this? I'm not one to watch horror flicks. This was pure horror, not porror. This movie is indeed very suspenseful. It is about a twisted cannibalistic family that has nothing better to do than make barbeques out of human remains. The story begins when Sally, her wheelchair-bound brother (Franklin), and friends, Curt, Pam and Jerry set out to a cemetery to see if their grandpa's grave is still intact. It seems someone is graverobbing and taking corpses out of their cripts in this small Texas town. Grandpa's grave was okay, so the five young people went to see Sally and Franklin's dad's abandon house. You can almost guess the horror about to happen. We are introduced to an array of characters. There is a hitchiker that put new meaning to the word weird. Leatherface and his chainsaw getting the bodies ready for barbecuing. The cook slapping his sons into shape. I was never bored! This movie kept me in suspense and I was on the edge of my seat the whole time. Was I scared? NO! There were parts that even made me laugh---When demented family brought grandpa down to let him have a "little fun". This film definitely had me entertained. I actually enjoyed this film! I don't call myself a horror buff, but this flick is a definite buy for any movie goer.
Better than I expected........2007-07-31
You know how some people say the original is always better than the remake? I personally find the opposite to be true. No matter what movie genre, I find that most older movies lack the intensity and rawness of a lot of movies in the 21st century. So after I saw the remake version of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (and having the life scared out of me), I decided to watch the original just to see what the big fuss was about. To my surprise, I ended up really liking it.

So what's this movie about? Basically, a group of kids are on a roadtrip when they come across a town of creepy people. Worse yet, these "creepy" people are murderers. Weapon of choice? Chainsaws.

Let's talk about the positives first. Although some may be sick of the whole "group of college trips on a roadtrip get chased by some psycho killer" storyline, I personally find it to be thrilling. You know something bad is going to happen, you just don't know when or how. I was on the edge of my seat during the entire last half of the movie. Second, as I said above, I generally find that older movies aren't all that great. I actually thought that this movie seemed more real than the remake. While the remake contained a lot of unlikeable characters (and I'm talking about the kids who were being chased by the killer), I had a lot of sympathy for the characters in the original. Some may find the chasing scene (I hope I'm not giving too much away) to be repetitive and too long but I felt like I was in the character's shoes and I truly felt fearful for her. There are quite a few scenes in this movie that had me shocked and disgusted with the knowledge that unlike a lot of other scary movies, the things that happened in this film could actually happen.

And now for the negatives. There's really only one thing that I didn't like about this movie. A good portion of the beginning of the movie had me yawning a bit. I was very close to turning off my TV and writing off this movie as being bad but thankfully I stuck around to watch the rest.

Overall, I give this movie 4 stars. If I could, I probably would have given it 4.5 stars but I don't think it's worthy of 5 stars simply because of the sort of dull first half of the film. However, I definitely recommend this movie to all.

Average customer rating:

A fun romp

Hilarious! Hysterical!

This film is good.

A waste of film

Woo-Wee

Woo
Starring: Jada Pinkett Smith , Tommy Davidson , Duane Martin , Michael Ralph , and Darrel Heath
Director: Daisy von Scherler Mayer
Manufacturer: New Line Home Video
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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Martin, Duane | ( M ) | Actors & Actresses | Stores | DVD | Video
Michael, Ralph | ( M ) | Actors & Actresses | Stores | DVD | Video
Parker, Paula Jai | ( P ) | Actors & Actresses | Stores | DVD | Video
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ASIN: B0000TWMWK
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Description
A pic about a man who can not get a date and is then cursed witha beautiful, neurotic woman he can't get rid of.
Customer Reviews:

A fun romp.......2007-05-13
I came across this movie by chance last night, and I really enjoyed it. Sassy, classy Woo (who seems to miraculously know all the right people in all the right and wrong places) is bent on jerking around her blind date, uptight lawyer-wannabe Tim. Bitter over being treated like an object, she's out to teach the man (any man, in fact) a lesson. And while she does put Tim and his friends through their paces during this first date from hell, Tim also inspires Woo to take the chip off of her shoulder for at least a little while to give love a chance.

Woo and Tim's adventures are interspersed with scenes from the goofy love life of Woo's cousin and Tim's best friend, the couple who set up the blind date in the first place. They are desperate to get Woo out of the way so they can indulge in a night of no-holds-barred passion. While some of these scenes are wicked funny, that particular sub-plot disappears towards the end of the movie without any particular resolution. This was a bit of a disappointment, but I guess the director/editors decided they couldn't top the "chicken ho" bit and opted to leave well enough alone. After that, the focus of the movie sticks to setting up Woo and Tim's "happily ever after." (Was even hoping for something in the credits that would wrap up that storyline, but no such luck.)

All in all, this movie was an entertaining romp, and not a bad way to spend part of an evening.
Hilarious! Hysterical!.......2006-06-21
After eight years of ignoring this movie - primarily due to the negative reviews it got - I finally got to see it the other night on TV. I laughed non-stop. It's a typical story of a blind date that seems doomed for failure but ends in romance. As saccharine as the end of the movie may be and as cynical and jaded I may well be, I'm not ashamed to say I had tears in my eyes as the end credits rolled. I thought it was great. Not all movies are made to answer some of life's most puzzling questions. Not all movies are supposed to be 'intelligent' or 'thought-provoking'. Not all movies are made to change the world. Some movies are made for us to be able to sit back for one and a half hours, forget all our troubles and just have a good scream. This is one of those movies and I'm getting the DVD. I can't wait to watch it again.

All my favourite comedy actors are here: Jada of course (looking as lovely as I've ever seen her), Dave Chapelle, Duane Martin, Paula Jai Parker, Aida Turturro, LL Cool J and Dartanyan Edmonds. Even Foxy Brown makes an appearance and it's not too bad either.

But most of all, there's Tommy Davidson. Ah, Tommy Davidson. Not everyone's cup of tea, apparently, but he always does it for me.

If this movie taught me one lesson it's to let reviews INFORM my decisions on what movies to see and buy, and not to let them influence them. This is definitely one for the collection!
This film is good........2004-09-20
I believe that this is a very funny film. Chappelle(sp?), Davidson, Pinkett-Smith. This is a very peaceful film because all the shots are done at night.

I can't remember much except for the chicken scene and the restaurant. It's almost as if I was sleeping, but